ON BEING SINGLE

This post is one difficult one for me - not because I don't know what to write but because I feel it's an extremely personal matter and I don't consider myself an expert when it comes to relationships or marriage talks :). Ironically though, I've been constantly nudged to write about this but I'm going to tread carefully as this is a sensitive subject. I'm going to address it with the eyes of someone who's been through this. As someone who has had to go through being single, I know waiting can be so so difficult. Often times, you think "Is something wrong with me?", "Why didn't this courtship work out?", "I'm I not pretty/handsome or good enough?", "Why do only the wrong guys/ladies come my way?". I also understand the feelings of wondering if God even have plans of giving us a husband/wife?". How about the general perception  that true fulfillment can only be found in marriage? I have to state here that sometimes, the reasons for being still single might simply just be that the guy/lady in question doesn't yet feel secure, mature or even ready! I also know of some other reasons that are even too absurd to type!

I have always been one to evaluate things and learn from them. And some of the lessons I've learnt from this special period of my life are contentment, patience, faith and trust in God's word. These are not virtues I gained automatically - it took some phases and processes and I may probably keep re-learning them but trust me it can be achieved. When you get to this point, you can be sure you would be happier. I know some of you might be thinking "Well... Ibe, that's you, not everyone is like you. Some of us don't even have age on our sides and we're actually bothered". I'm not going to act like I have all the answers but honestly the only answer I have to this is that you choose to submit and trust in God's timing and plan for your life.  Tell God about your desire to be married, express your impatience and ask for His strength to believe and trust in His judgement for your life. Remember, marriage was His idea in the first place!

Finally, I'd like to sincerely say that though the desire to be married is not wrong in itself (I want to be married to the sweetest and God - fearing loving guy ever!), marriage should be more than just a ring on your finger -  it should be a  bond between two people that should grow over time and add value to their lives. You should also work on improving on your personality. So, no matter how big our frustrations are, let's communicate all these feelings to our maker. I came across this sweet and reassuring verse of the bible - Psalm 139:1-6 "O LORD, thou hast searched me, and known me.Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off. Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether. Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it." Cool, right?