Wednesday, 22 January 2014

Numb, That's How I've Felt

I was just a numb empty shell. I didn't know what to think. I knew it was better to let it all out but somehow there was nothing to let out! Yes, my heart was not ready to feel any more pain. No, I was tired.

You see, I had lost a good friend a couple of months ago. And I lost my mojo! Yes, I did. Like most people, I erroneously keep thinking relationships should last forever. I had not seen her in 3 years. Infact, we've only spoken once in this period. But her passing gave me panic and anxiety attacks especially at night because of the stress. It brought back tucked-in memories of every loved one I had lost. I couldn't just understand anything anymore.

Sadly, there's no ''right'' way to respond to losing a friend or relative - it's an extremely personal response that is unique to just you. It still hurts when I think about it but aknowledging my feelings and remembering the good times we had has made me grateful. 

Here's the conclusion I came to - God is infinitely wise and kind, and He has the power to welcome whomever He wants home. And that I should be grateful for every family member and friend He has blessed me with and enjoy as much time as I have with them.

If you're reading this, Daddy, Ugbe, Tumo, Oji, Tina , Ugwa, Comfort, Yebe, Bekky, Uyo, Esther, Susan, Olive, Juliet, Favour, Ebere, Eze, Oshuwa, Monday, Mary, Joy, Simeon.... hmnn, the list so long, I would never be able to mention you all. This is just to let you all know that I love you and cherish your presence in my life. Rest in peace Charity Imaji-Silas.


  1. Awww. Sorry dear. May God strengthen you

  2. Now you bring back those tears I have managed to hold back for a while now. I am so glad she made it to heaven. Continue to rest in peace Charity

    1. Yes, Juliet. I actually cried on waking this morning. Glad for those wonderful memories.

  3. It's a pity ! , Never an easy one but just know that God is your strength now and always.