Happy Two Months Birthday to Nathaniel's Daughter!

 

I feel blessed and thankful for this blog. I've had people call, send text messages and even drop comments on my posts telling me how inspired they've been reading my posts. I feel like a celebrity already ...lol. I've thought back to my many adventures and this has been my best so far.  Yes! I’m on an adventure! My main intention is growth– my own growth. Yes, sure – of course there’s a desire to inspire, contribute, connect, share, network, blah blah blah… But deep down, it’s all about my own deepening, my own expansion, my own exploration. 

There were times when I felt like a part of me couldn’t quite connect to this adventure. There was the “fear” of the unknown –  new context, new ideas, new environment and the need to be different. Will people care to visit my blog? What should my posts be like? Will they enjoy it? Will I have time for myself?  and oh...the big one - wouldn't I be making myself  vulnerable by being honest and authentic in my posts? You see, I don't like anyone misinterpreting, or getting me wrong – like “oh, she’s some stuck-up lady who thinks she's got something new to tell us…”. But seriously, I’m someone who loves a lot of predictability and quietness – yes, I do enjoy a quiet room with no care in the world... Haha!

However, a realization hit me exactly two months ago "Don’t wait; enjoy some adventure!”and boom, I started this blog! And I mean immediately. Don't get me wrong, I had nursed this desire for a while but it took that one decision.I just wanted to enjoy being myself – nothing more… In a way, I’m glad that that has happened, because I felt it with such conviction and inner clarity. Who knows? Maybe this is a version of my calling. And hey, you can be part of this calling by sending in your contributions and observations to ibenath@gmail.com. I'd love to hear from you. Have an awesome week!

ON BEING SINGLE

This post is one difficult one for me - not because I don't know what to write but because I feel it's an extremely personal matter and I don't consider myself an expert when it comes to relationships or marriage talks :). Ironically though, I've been constantly nudged to write about this but I'm going to tread carefully as this is a sensitive subject. I'm going to address it with the eyes of someone who's been through this. As someone who has had to go through being single, I know waiting can be so so difficult. Often times, you think "Is something wrong with me?", "Why didn't this courtship work out?", "I'm I not pretty/handsome or good enough?", "Why do only the wrong guys/ladies come my way?". I also understand the feelings of wondering if God even have plans of giving us a husband/wife?". How about the general perception  that true fulfillment can only be found in marriage? I have to state here that sometimes, the reasons for being still single might simply just be that the guy/lady in question doesn't yet feel secure, mature or even ready! I also know of some other reasons that are even too absurd to type!

I have always been one to evaluate things and learn from them. And some of the lessons I've learnt from this special period of my life are contentment, patience, faith and trust in God's word. These are not virtues I gained automatically - it took some phases and processes and I may probably keep re-learning them but trust me it can be achieved. When you get to this point, you can be sure you would be happier. I know some of you might be thinking "Well... Ibe, that's you, not everyone is like you. Some of us don't even have age on our sides and we're actually bothered". I'm not going to act like I have all the answers but honestly the only answer I have to this is that you choose to submit and trust in God's timing and plan for your life.  Tell God about your desire to be married, express your impatience and ask for His strength to believe and trust in His judgement for your life. Remember, marriage was His idea in the first place!

I learnt My Lesson!

My lesson teacher.....lols

I love books ehn... I have burnt food because of them sef  but that's even small compared to the other wahala(s) I got myself into. While my mates were reading mushy stuff in Mills and Boon, I was busy reading about crimes, detectives and spies in James Hadley Chase novels ... lols. I can't even begin to tell you the stunts I pulled to get these novels on a regular basis. One time, during my early teenage years, I had gone on an errand to Mama Amina's shop to buy something (I can't even remember what), I met this guy who was obviously a supplier, offloading some things into her shop. I don't know how it happened but my eyes caught this new book sitting pretty on the dashboard of his pickup van. I used to be terribly shy but not when it came to books. So, I summoned courage and asked if I could read the book. He went on to remind me of how that he didn't know me and that he had not even read the book....blah blah blah. I reassured him that I lived just adjacent Mama Amina's shop, that I would take good care of the book and that he could get it on his next round which was two days away. Imagine my joy when I found out it was What's Better Than Money? - a JHC novel!

I'm a fast reader and I can read all night if a book is particularly interesting. By the next day, I was through with the novel. That same day, Mama Amina called me while I was going out on an errand somewhere else. She asked if I remembered a particular guy who had come to her shop to supply things the previous day, I nodded yes. She then said "he don die o". "Die?" I asked. "Yes o, dem say him die yesterday for accident after him leave my shop" she answered (by the way, why would you tell a child such a thing?). I rushed home and quickly removed the novel from where I had hidden it in my school bag. I placed it on a small desk at a corner of the bedroom I shared with my sisters. For days I wouldn't go near the desk or even look at the novel - I was scared!  Prior to that time, I had heard and read so many ghost stories.What if the guy's ghost came for his book? The book had to leave that house! 

We've got to talk!

I had  to deal with some unpalatable situation over the weekend that left me with puffy eyes. And honestly I don't know how I pulled through (I'm still pulling through sef). If someone had talked with me or even saw me then, they wouldn't have known I was going through anything - yeah, I masked it well :) but I was stressed up inside. I didn't even think I could pray, so I decided to have a heart-to-heart talk with God about it as against some fire brand praying (you know what I mean). Just this morning, Jeremiah 29:11 came to mind "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end."  I love this verse of the bible and even as I type this, it calms me. I don't see the enormity of what I'm going through - all I see is the awesomeness of my creator. Knowing that He has my best interest at heart is so sweet and it makes me feel so loved. Trust thrives in perfect love. I want to just trust in His love for me.

I know, so many folks are going through varying unmentionable negative situations and they honestly feel they can't go on. Things may have got so bad that that your physical and mental health is telling tales. I can understand how everything just seems to get to you - from noisy people and places to happy people and your pulse is rising! Would you trust me if I tell you that God has a plan? And yes, mine might be child's play compared to yours (or vice versa) but does that make it any easier? How about talking to God about it? Remember Isaiah 43:26? "Put me in remembrance: let us plead together: declare thou, that thou mayest be justified."

It gets harder if you keep sulking, so stop! Don't feel down. Trust that God will make a way for you. I know it doesn't look like it now but it will if you stop sulking and do something about it. Like me, you can start by having a we've got to talk moment with God. Trust me, you'll get a hint on what to do. So guys, as you begin this new week, I wish you all shades of awesomeness and super strength for every trying time. This is coming from someone who is working her way through one.

Lots of love

Ibe

Get It Off The Ground!

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The hard part about owning a blog is that you constantly have to come up with mind-blowing or at least interesting posts. People want you to tell them what they've never heard before or better still, in ways they've never heard it before. The ones that would least likely care about what you post are people who truly love you and sincerely want to support you. So they would regularly visit your relatively new blog to read posts they've probably read five times previously. But you know, these people are in the minority compared to your target - the whole world! That's where tenacity and creativity come in. You have to daily seek to improve on the quality of your posts - they must inspire people, make them laugh, and even solve their problems! And yes, they may agree with some of your points but it wouldn’t necessarily mean they would apply to them:)

A lot of people I know are either doing some ridiculously low-paying jobs in cities or talking about landing that big job in an oil company, but never make it because it's a lot easier to just talk about it than actually do something about it. And they don’t want to waste their time on furthering their education, short courses, career building projects because they’ve got some old family friend over there who they hope would help them. If they told their well doing educated friends about their inability to get a good job and they are advised to improve on themselves, it will be embarrassing for them because they think people will think “oh, it's been seven years since you did that ND program and that's still all you've done”. I've had to go through this too. It’s why I don’t make stupid projections anymore. But it’s also why I desperately want to improve myself, to break away from unrealistic expectations.